Mastery of Ourselves – Part Two

Mastery of Ourselves Part Two

In my last blog, I discussed how the first step towards self-mastery is about observing the cues of your body and making the necessary corrections and adjustments in your life.  The moment you don’t have to consciously remind yourself to assess how your body is feeling,  is the moment you have accomplished this strategy.  By becoming “in tune” with your body’s rhythms you are now able to free your mind to focus on other elements that are happening in your life.

The Next Step – Mastering our Emotions

The next vital step towards self-mastery is to take the step towards mastery of one’s emotions and how to react and respond to certain events – both positive and negative.  Do you find yourself addicted to being happy or only desiring to experience pleasurable moments?   Or do you find yourself worrying about when the other shoe is going to drop or when you are going to experience unfortunate perceived challenges?  Either way, if we are controlled by emotion, instead of making a rational choice we are guided by our base feelings that usually lean towards a fear-based choice.  Anytime we make a choice based on fear, the end result always results in increased stress and chaos.

So how do we master our emotions?

The main challenge we face in mastering our emotions, is being able to have the ability and presence of mind to step back and reassess the situation before making a decision. We tend to act on impulse.   What you are likely thinking is, “Yeah right,  how can we step back and reassess?”  If someone is threatening us or making us feel less than, how is it even possible to have the ability to not just react, but to stay present mentally and make a conscious choice.  Although it is easier said than done, practice makes perfect.

Fully Experiencing Our Emotions

The first step is to take time to fully experience your emotions.  If we never allow ourselves to experience the full spectrum of emotions from happiness to sadness, than we will always be fearful and judgmental when we become emotional.  We have been conditioned by society to always be happy or to put up a façade that everything is “just peachy” when in fact, we are feeling the exact opposite.   Why is it that when we are angry or sad, we do not feel the freedom to express these supposed negative emotions?

A lot of our perceptions of what good and bad emotions are have been conditioned from our childhood and what society has deemed to be good or bad.  We have learned that If we cry, we are showing that we are weak and we must show that we are strong, otherwise others will dominate and walk all over us.  However, until we can allow ourselves to feel and fully process our emotions, then life will keep bringing us experiences to deal with the emotions that are uncomfortable. We will also have to deal with those that we do not own or allow ourselves to feel safe to feel.

Different strategies to gain mastery of our emotions

One way to gain mastery of our emotions is to know when we perceive someone is blaming us or “aggressing” us, is to check in with our own bodies to see if it is our deal or theirs.  By knowing our own body’s signs, we can get the necessary feedback to confirm if we are being true to ourselves.

Another way to master our emotions is to see where we do the exact same thing as that person who we perceive is attacking us.  By seeing that we do the exact same thing to others that they are doing to us (although it may be in a different form), it helps to diffuse this charge.

You can also spend time when you are alone, allowing yourself to feel the emotion that you are experiencing.  As your mind attempts to recall memories to justify feeling this emotion,  just observe the memories and you will discover that they are all in the past and have nothing to do with your current situation.

There are other strategies one can use to manage your emotions,  however the key is to allow yourself to feel the full spectrum of emotions, in order to provide yourself with a greater range to experience.  The next life letter will be addressing the mastery of one’s mind or mental awareness that will allow you to point yourself towards self-mastery.

Mastery of Ourselves

Mastery of Ourselves

                One of life’s main quests is to gain mastery of one’s self.  The mind likes to create the illusion that we have control of our life and ourselves.  However, more often than not, past conditioned patterns or reactions to situations tend to control us instead.   Anytime we feel overwhelmed in our lives due to financial, personal, familial, or professional stress we engage in comfortable patterns of reaction or ways of being.  Some use escape strategies such as smoking, excessive drinking of alcohol, substance abuse, and food binging amongst a list of things.

Staying centered in the midst of chaos

                How do we stay centered while in the midst of chaos and remain calm like in the center of a storm?  The first step towards self-mastery is to gain a deeper understanding of your tendencies and being brutally honest with yourself and how you deal with stress.  We all experience stress differently – some people get anxious, others feel immobilized, while others are unaware of how stress impact them or their bodies.  Those “lucky” people (or maybe unlucky) have disconnected from their bodies so much so that they are not even aware of how much their stress is affecting the overall quality of their lives.

Stress is present in the initial tightness that one feels that if unaddressed, can later turn into pain.  Other signs of visible stress held in the body are alterations in posture such as head tilt, a high shoulder, or rounded shoulders.  It can also manifest in severe health challenges such as digestive, respiratory, and other dis-eases.

Paying attention to the cues of our body

                We usually don’t pay attention to how stress impacts us until some health challenge forces us to reassess our lives and decide what we need to do differently.  The body is an incredible indicator of stress.  The body holds onto any emotions that we do not experience fully or the emotions we choose to not pay attention to.

Take a few moments each day to pay attention to your breathing.   Is your breathing short and restricted, or is it deep, full and expansive?  Then notice how your body feels.   Do you feel more tightness in your shoulders, neck, back when you are stressed?  Do you feel relaxed and have a more open posture when you are not?

Observe your body’s posture

                The next step is to observe your posture.  Are your shoulders hunched forward or is your head tilted to one side?  Have you ever been told to sit up or stand straighter?  As stress accumulates in our bodies, the head starts moving forward and the rest of the body follows.  The moment our body is relieved of stress, it unwinds and we are once again able to relax and breathe.  Over time the body loses the ability to let go of stress because we have an incessant need to override our bodies with our minds.

Staying consciously aware is key

               Maintaining conscious awareness of how stress impacts your posture, the ease you feel in your body and the quality of your breathing is one of the keys to self-mastery.  It is like learning a new language or skill.  The more you practice and stay present with your body, the more you reinforce this new behavior.

Increasing One’s Intuition

Increasing One’s Intuition

                How do we begin to tune into our own inner knowing and wisdom?  How do we block out outside opinions and perceptions?  How do we discover our own unique values that allow us to be true to our authentic self?  We naturally operate out of conditioned knee-jerk responses due to feelings of obligation, duty, or a sense of loyalty and friendship. This blurs our choices and prevents us from listening to ourselves.

Do you make the wrong choices?

                Has someone ever asked you to do something for them and although you did not really want to do it, you said yes?  How did you feel?  You probably got a sick feeling in the deep recesses of your stomach that created irritation and self-judgment.  As well, when we are indecisive when an important choice needs to be made, we feel we wish we could just “know” what the right choice is and be done with it.  We always get subtle signals from our bodies, but we often we are not aware of them. For example, we feel ease when we make the right choice, and anxiousness when we make the wrong choice.  So why is it we don’t listen to our body’s signals?

Tuning in

                The reason we resist listening to our bodies is due to our ever-controlling “mind.”  Our mind has to compare current situations with past experiences in order to make the best choice to either prevent further pain and discomfort, or on the other hand, to experience more pleasure and joy.  However, it is the past comparisons that prevent us from truly living life in the present.  We know deep down inside what it is that we want, but we choose to either get too busy or allow ourselves to become distracted.  “Tuning in” can be very uncomfortable at times, since by doing so we would need to say “no” to someone and face the prospect of disappointing them.

Connecting with ourselves

                The first step in connecting with ourselves is to pay attention to subtle cues and notice our bodies’ response to stress, fear, and irritation.  Some common signs are nausea, body pains, heat, comfort food cravings, and lapses in memory.  The more that we can stay conscious of our moment to moment thoughts and experiences, the more we can correlate certain symptoms with a “no” response of the body.

Once we gain this awareness, the next step is to apply this knowledge.  It may take several attempts (or more) before we succeed in truly listening to our intuition versus overriding it with our minds.  So be gentle and patient with this process, and like learning how to ride a bike, remember that it takes more than one time to learn how to gain balance and be at ease.

Be Present

                One way to help identify the signs of our bodies, is to take time to be more conscious of how you breathe.  Is your breathing shallower, more labored or is it full, deep and expansive?  By taking brief moments throughout your day to notice your breathing, and better yet, taking the time to breathe helps to facilitate this process.   Also, notice how you feel during a conversation with another person – are you relaxed or do you feel tense?  The more you pay attention to how your breathing as well as how your body responds to certain situations will further increase your intuition and establish a more intimate connection with your body.

Gift of Spirit Workshop Level 2 coming up!

Hi everyone!

Just sharing that my Gift of Spirit Level Two Workshop will be held on Saturday, March 31st, from 10 am to 5 pm.

It is offered only to Gift of Spirit Level One graduates and is designed to go more in depth in understanding how we can utilize tension, stress, and discover the amazing connections we have to ourselves and others.

For more information click on this link:

Gift of Spirit Workshop II – March 31, 2012

Gift of Spirit Animal Workshop coming up!

Hi everyone! I will be offering a Gift of Spirit Animal Workshop this month and it is open to everyone who wants to help their beloved pets! I hope you can join me.

DATES:

Saturday, March 17, from 3 pm to 6 pm

Sunday, March 18, from 10 am to 3 pm.

For detailed information, click on this link: Animals Workshop-Mar2012

Listening

Listening More than with One’s Ears

True listening is when one not only listens with ones ears, but is receptive to other sources of input as well. This encompasses empathy – feeling another’s emotional state and being open to sensing where that person is at.  Miscommunication often occurs when we do not pick up what the other person is really trying to tell us.  For example, a person may lash out in anger not because they are angry with us, but because of their own unhappiness with themselves.  When we learn to differentiate between what someone is saying to us, and can decipher whether or not it is their issue or ours, it can make a huge difference in keeping the lines of communication open.

Being heard validates us

We value being listened to, because we feel that it validates us.  Have you ever experienced a situation where you tried to express yourself and was ignored or discounted?  How did that feel?  Children throw tantrums, and arguments arise among adults if they feel they are not being heard.  This all inevitably leads to resentment.

The more we consciously choose to put our 100% attention towards someone who is expressing themselves; we in turn can expect to receive the same.  A lot of times we want others to change before we do, but why not be the one to initiate the change and see what happens?  Magic occurs when there is a mutual, balanced connection, not only with our minds, but with our hearts and energies as well.

The Challenge to Stay Open

It is not always easy to stay open and listen to another person, especially when they share something that is not of any interest, or they continually do things that hurt and disappoint us.  At times it can be challenging to stay open and listen to our family and loved ones because of all the past experiences and same old stories that keep being told.

Whenever we point our finger at someone else for making us feel a certain way or blame them for our current situation, we are pointing one finger at them, pointing our thumb up towards God, and three fingers back at ourselves.  Avoiding the blame game means to stay open and listen to what your body is telling you via symptoms that show up.  In addition, it is important to listen to what others are saying and what they are doing.

How do we stay open?

How do we stay open?  The first step is to make sure you are in a calm state of being. This can be achieved by taking a few deep breaths in and out. The next is to listen to not only the words that are being spoken, but to sense the other person’s emotional state.  If you start getting irritated or angry, take a quick look inward to see if you are reacting to your own emotions or to that of the other person.

If you recognize it as your issue, then you will find that the more you choose not to own this issue then the longer the person will irritate you.   If you identify with it being the person’s issue, then you can choose to take on that energy – or not.  At least now you recognize that you have a choice.  It takes work to do so, but the more you are conscious of your own internal state, the easier it is to stay open and listen.

Gift of Spirit Level 1 – Half Day Workshop in February

Click on link below to see our flyer for Gift of Spirit Level 1 – Half Day Workshop on Sunday, February 26th, from 10 am to 3 pm.

Gift of Spirit Level 1 – Half Day Workshop

The Mind Lies, The Body Never Does

The Mind Lies, The Body Never Does

The mind lies, but the body never does.  The way our minds lie for instance when we are tired, we can override the fatigue by drinking caffeine to stay up.  Another way our minds can lie is that when we feel tightness in our neck or shoulders, we can tell ourselves we do not feel the pain and pretty soon, “voila,” poof the pain disappears.  It never disappears, all we have done is disconnect from our bodies ignoring the tightness and pain.

The Body’s Wisdom

Our body constantly gives us many signals for us to become aware.  The 3 things that we can trust with our body is first our breath, second is touch, and the third is movement.  When we are either scared, angry or upset our natural instinct is to hold our breath and stop breathing.  The sensation of touch never lies and we know how it feels when someone that we love or loves us gives us a hug or places their hands on us, we just melt and never want to lose that connection.   The worse type of touch is when we get one of those fake hugs where there is no energy or sincerity in the hug that we receive.  The last is movement never lies.  When someone is in pain, their movement is labored; when a child is happy, we can feel their excitement and energy.

How do we connect with our bodies?

What can we do to connect with our bodies?  The first step is to start taking time to recognize when our breathing is not as full as we would like it to be.  When breathing becomes short or we find ourselves holding our breath is the first indicator that our body is under stress.  The next thing we can do is pay attention to any tightness or any restrictions that we feel in any of our movements.  Anytime there is a limitation in our range of motion or we experience tightness, it is the body’s response to any added stress that we are under.  By the time we experience pain it is too late, since we disregarded all the body’s attempts to get our attention.  Pain is never fun, but is a great motivator for us to make the necessary changes that we normally wouldn’t do.

Where do we go from here?

It has taken many years for us to develop ways we deal with stress; some good and some not so.  Human nature does not like change and even when we experience even a positive shift we perceive in life, it can create tension and stress for us.  Take baby steps in becoming more aware of choices that you make and how your body responds or reacts to certain situations and circumstances.  Observe if you find yourself holding your breath or feeling any restricted movements or even pain surfacing in different parts of your body.  This is your body’s automatic response to stress and by being aware of your body will give you greater clarity of what is creating tension in your life.  So the first thing to do is “BREATHE!”  Breathing brings us back into the present moment and allows us to connect with our body.

Hope this Life letter has brought some awareness and I welcome any feedback or comments.

Topic for next Life Letter – “Listening”

A New Paradigm for Healing Part 2

Experiencing One’s Emotions Fully

“One’s inability to experience one’s experience is the source of all suffering.  Seeing is freedom.  Seeing is in itself the end.”

- anonymous

Food for thought – people who gets angry and commit acts of violence feel that anger is wrong.  The more one suppresses the emotion they feel unsafe to experience, the more one creates it in one’s life.  I do not enjoy confrontations and in the past would attempt to avoid confrontations, but I found that although the faces and times were different, the same experience kept presenting itself to me, until I dealt with the unpleasantness of speaking my truth and dealing with the situation and confronting the issues at hand.

How is peace accomplished?

Peace is accomplished when there is no effort, to stop effort requires effort; all we can do is become aware of the games that we play and this becomes the solution.  By using Network as the basis, I teach one’s body and nervous system strategies to strengthen one’s own inner connection to themselves and therefore symptoms, emotions, stress, and life circumstances are filtered through the experience of the body.  One can change the way one ‘takes life’ by changing the body’s experience and awareness.  For example the same symptom might be presenting itself, but the experience changes if we have a different connection with our breath and movement.  Once our structure changes then our behavior changes, and then the last to change is our perceptions.

Bringing balance to our Perceptions

One increases adaptability to life by experiencing one’s emotions fully.  The moment we can bring our experiences whether they are good or bad into balance is when we can live in the present and not be run by our past.  Either our symptoms or past conditioning controls us or we have the awareness to choose how we want to perceive our current experiences.  Instead of reacting to circumstances, we allow ourselves to make a conscious choice in how we want to experience the current situation and consciously respond appropriately.

Listen to the signals of our body

A new paradigm to healing is to embrace the intimate connection between our body and our mind.  Symptoms such as low back pain, headaches, shoulder tightness, panic attacks, and other conditions such as diabetes are signals giving us the opportunity to make necessary changes to the way we our living our lives.  Either we become victims of our bodies or we learn to listen to what our body wants to tell us to address whatever it is that is out of sync with what our internal soul or knowing-ness in communication with our minds.

Topic for next Life Letter – “The Body never Lies, the mind does”

A New Paradigm for Healing

The Focus of Aloha Chiropractic and Network – Give ourselves the permission to reassess our life’s choices.

We are currently moving into a time where traditional methods of healing are no longer effective in addressing the dis-eases that are currently affecting family, friends, and loved ones.  Diabetes, heart disease, cancer is on the rise and affecting more and more people.  Medications are managing these conditions, but can there be a different way to experience a better quality of life?

The Mechanistic View of Healing

The western approach is mechanistic in that it treats the human body as a sum of its parts and addresses the different systems of the body vs. seeing how the whole of the body is intimately connected.  This mechanistic view point is known as “restorative healing” and its focus is to address the symptom that is adversely affecting a person’s life and getting it under control so that a person can continue living their life the way they always have.

Restorative Healing – What is it?

Restorative healing is the focus of many healing disciplines especially western medicine.  The  causes of a dis-ease or symptom is one’s aim and then to blame it as the reason for being in that condition.   The person wants to return to their life prior to the state when the problematic symptom appeared.  The symptom or situation is disturbing the way a person is feeling and living their life and this disturbance is wrong and must be stopped.  The assumption is by stopping the symptom or crisis, the individual can resume as closely to possible his previous life routines, actions, and choices.  Success is perceived when one has returned to a previous and familiar place.  Prevention of this condition is important and takes precedence – by conducting earlier tests, examining biomedical indicators and using preventative treatments can this success be achieved.

Asking a different question

Network Spinal Analysis (NSA) does not focus on “Restorative Healing.” NSA takes on a different perspective asking “what if that symptom or disturbance in one’s life is the cure?”  The bigger question is “what does one need to feel or be aware of in order to make the necessary changes to find a different approach to the way one is living one’s life.”  True empowerment comes when we have the ability to “choose” versus knee- jerk reacting to life’s challenges.

Trying is it enough?

Whenever someone uses the word “try” it gives the person permission to sabotage themselves.  “I am trying to make a change” means in other words, “don’t expect more from me.”  I remember when I was young my mother saying to me, “When you TRY, you FAIL.”  Instead of trying, just “BE-ing.”  The bigger goal is for one to be able to truly experience what is currently happening in their life.  When there is no story or energetic attachment whether it be good or bad to the experience is when one is truly set free.

This is Part 1 of A New Paradigm for Healing and Part 2 – “Embracing a New Paradigm” will be in next month’s Life Letter.